Saturday, August 5, 2023 4:44 PM
> I practice all my smiles, different styles,
> I win the race by miles
> No-one's allowed to be more fun than me
> Don't want the world to see…
Twisterbait's Popstars 🎵
Monday, July 24, 2023 7:39 PM
New deadlift personal record: 205lbs 🏋🏽♂️
Friday, July 14, 2023 7:25 AM
I hate it when I wake up and my eyelashes are shaved on the sides, and the ones in the middle are standing straight up. Yeah, it's punk eye.
Thursday, February 9, 2023 2:20 PM
Hey there! Long time no talk! I decided to reach out to friends today, and that included you. Hope you're having a great day!
Monday, December 12, 2022 5:53 PM
This is a new one. I was buying some headphones online and the store has an option to leave a tip. 🙃
Thursday, November 24, 2022 8:39 AM
Wife: you need to prepare the turkey
Me: *sits turkey down* dude this isn't gonna be a good day for you
Friday, November 18, 2022 2:26 PM
Found on craigslist free stuff:
Wednesday, November 16, 2022 1:11 PM
I joined Mastodon 🐘 and suddenly I have an urge to start posting shit again. I give it three months, tops. Just like last time. 😅😭
Wednesday, November 16, 2022 1:08 PM
It finally happened. 👴🏽👓 I hope you're happy.
Tuesday, August 30, 2022 8:27 AM
I wonder if other people secretly hate me the way I secretly hate then?